Want to be more Likable? Find & Integrate Your Repressed Parts

We are all born with the FULL spectrum of humanity within us.

We are all everything, and have the capacity to be everything.

We all have the capacity to be hard working, and we all have the capacity to be lazy. We’re all happy, and we are all sad. We’re kind, we’re mean. We’re funny, we’re stoic. We are artsy, we’re logical.

We are all everything (maybe not everywhere, most likely not all at once).

But we are born with every trait within us.

As we grow up, we receive messages from society about which traits are, and which traits are not, acceptable.

Because we are social animals whose survival on this planet has depended on being part of community, we internalize these messages and adapt accordingly. Each time we receive a message that a certain trait is not likable, we repress that trait within ourselves.

Unfortunately, these repressed parts don’t just quietly go away. Instead, they rattle around and cause problems, yearning to be seen & accepted.

When we repress a trait within ourselves, we become hyper-aware of that trait in other people. We notice it. We judge it. We dislike it.

Often, these repressed parts cause us to act out. They cause conflict in interpersonal relationships. And they disturb our inner peace.

So much of relationship conflict, fights, and problems are caused by these repressed parts.

So much of our own inner turmoil, our irritability, our stress, and sad moments are caused by these repressed parts.

And the biggest factor in determining how LIKABLE we are by others is the degree to which we have repressed parts.

If you want to be more likable, start by becoming aware of these repressed parts. The latest episode explains how to do this. Listen to episode 164, “Am I the A**hole: The Common Root of All Relationship Problems,” to find out how— available everywhere you listen to podcasts (including on Apple/iTunes here) and the full video is available on Spotify here.