Is it Peanut Butter Jelly Time?
When I was in law school, I had a friend who I considered very close. I thought we were BFFLs. Like sisters, basically. I was always there for her, and I assumed she would always be there for me.
We did everything together— we studied together, we partied together, we went shopping together, we vented to each other, we g-chatted all day (remember g-chat?!) and we grocery shopped together.
There was a Trader Joe’s in our neighborhood, and we used to go there a lot. At the time, TJs had this PB&J candy bar that we were obsessed with. It was a peanut butter-jelly filling inside of milk chocolate. Divine!
Anyway, at the time, I had severe digestive issues. I took laxatives every day to be able to poo, and I could barely look at food without getting bloated.
Another thing I really struggled with: a lack of emotional regulation.
I was so insecure, my self-worth was so low, and my life reflected it. I was in a graduate program I didn’t want to be in just to make other people happy, I was constantly over-giving in relationships to try to make myself indispensable, and I was friends with people like this girl, who never actually gave a shit about me. I would give give give; never ask; and then snap and have full meltdowns.
You see, throughout law school, I was at this girl’s beck and call. Every time she had even a minor inconvenience in her life, I would drop everything to go comfort her. I didn’t fully realize how unequal our give & take was until after law school ended.
The year after law school ended, I had just moved to NYC, and I went through the worst. breakup. ever. Think Bella Swan New Moon.
It wasn’t just the breakup itself, or the anxious attachment patterning that the breakup revealed. The breakup also brought up every bit of suppressed trauma. Memories from my childhood that I had been repressing, things about myself that I was in denial about. I finally accepted that I had an eating disorder, I decided to quit taking hormonal birth control and the ADHD meds that I was prescribed but probably didn’t need and only really wanted in service of my eating disorder.
I was suddenly navigating heart break, fear of abandonment come to life, the aftermath of lovebombing, healing childhood wounds, recovering from disordered eating, the neurochemical effects of quitting ADHD medication, the hormonal hell that quitting BC put me through; all while being new in a city and knowing almost no one.
Almost no one. I did have one friend in the city. This girl.
Now, surely she would be there for me, right? She would come over? She would listen to me cry? She would listen to me vent?
Nope.
Nope nope nope.
She never came over. She never listened to me cry. She never let me vent. She actually, literally, not even ONCE texted me or asked how I was doing.
NOT ONCE!!!
One time I tried to cry to her and she told me I just needed to get over it.
I was devastated. Not just because of everything I listed above, but also because I was realizing that this friendship wasn’t what I thought it was.
It took months of inner work, but I finally realized that my sense of self-worth was so low that I was constantly settling for relationships where I was not valued or appreciated or recognized. Whether it was my narcissistic-adjacent ex, or my narcissistic-adjacent ex-friend, I was constantly finding myself in dynamics where I was over giving, trying to make myself indispensable, and getting nothing in return.
Interestingly, during those “months of inner work,” I also made another big life change: I cut out sugar. And I don’t just mean cane sugar and corn syrup, I also mean all other forms of natural & artificial sweeteners, including maple syrup, coconut sugar, coconut nectar, erythritol, stevia, and monk fruit.
I genuinely believe that the two are highly connected.
How Sugar Affects Your Gut Health
In recent years, there has been growing awareness of the crucial role played by the gut microbiome in maintaining overall health and well-being. Emerging research suggests that dietary factors, particularly sugar consumption, can significantly influence the composition and function of the gut microbiota.
The Complex Landscape of the Gut Microbiome: The gut microbiome, comprising trillions of microorganisms inhabiting the gastrointestinal tract, plays a pivotal role in various physiological processes, including digestion, metabolism, immune function, and neurotransmitter production. A diverse and balanced gut microbiota is associated with improved health outcomes, whereas dysbiosis, characterized by an imbalance or depletion of beneficial bacteria, is linked to a myriad of health issues, including gastrointestinal disorders, metabolic disturbances, and inflammatory conditions.
Impact of Sugar Consumption on Gut Health: Excessive sugar consumption, whether in the form of refined sugars like sucrose and high-fructose corn syrup or natural alternatives such as maple syrup and coconut sugar, can exert detrimental effects on the gut microbiome. High-sugar diets promote the proliferation of sugar-loving bacteria and pathogens while suppressing beneficial strains, leading to dysbiosis and microbial imbalance. Moreover, artificial sweeteners like erythritol and monk fruit may disrupt gut microbial communities, albeit through different mechanisms.
Intestinal Permeability and Sugar-Induced Inflammation: One of the key mechanisms underlying the adverse effects of sugar on gut health is the induction of intestinal permeability, commonly referred to as "leaky gut." Chronic sugar consumption can compromise the integrity of the intestinal barrier, allowing harmful substances, such as bacteria, toxins, and undigested food particles, to translocate into the bloodstream. This aberrant immune activation triggers systemic inflammation and immune responses, contributing to a host of health problems, including food allergies, autoimmune disorders, and metabolic dysfunction.
When I thought I had 14 million food sensitivities, it turns out that I just had leaky gut from things like consuming lots of sugar.
Role of the Gut-Brain Axis in Sugar-Induced Effects: The gut-brain axis, a bidirectional communication network connecting the gut and the central nervous system, plays a crucial role in regulating emotional and cognitive functions. Disruptions in gut microbial composition and function can influence neurotransmitter production, neuroinflammation, and stress responses, thereby impacting mood, behavior, and emotional regulation. Emerging evidence suggests that sugar-induced alterations in the gut microbiome may contribute to mood disorders, such as anxiety and depression, through dysregulation of the gut-brain axis.
How Sugar Affects Your Emotions
Sugar, ubiquitous in the modern diet, has far-reaching effects beyond mere taste satisfaction. Beyond its role as a source of energy, emerging research delves into the intricate relationship between sugar consumption and emotional well-being. Sugar affects emotions because of its impacts on insulin regulation, blood sugar levels, hormonal responses, the nervous system, and gut health.
Insulin and Blood Sugar Dynamics: Upon sugar consumption, the body initiates a cascade of metabolic events to regulate blood sugar levels. Simple sugars, such as glucose and fructose, rapidly enter the bloodstream, prompting the pancreas to release insulin, a hormone tasked with facilitating the uptake of glucose into cells for energy or storage. However, excessive sugar intake can overwhelm this delicate balance, leading to sharp spikes and subsequent crashes in blood sugar levels. These fluctuations can trigger mood swings, irritability, and fatigue, undermining emotional stability and well-being.
Emotional Regulation and Hormonal Responses: The intricate interplay between sugar consumption and emotional regulation involves complex hormonal pathways. High-glycemic foods stimulate the release of serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with mood regulation and emotional stability. However, the fleeting euphoria induced by sugar is short-lived, giving way to feelings of lethargy and dysphoria as blood sugar levels plummet. Moreover, chronic consumption of sugary foods can dysregulate cortisol, the stress hormone, contributing to heightened anxiety and irritability over time.
Impact on the Nervous System: The nervous system, particularly the brain, is highly sensitive to fluctuations in blood sugar levels. Excessive sugar consumption can impair cognitive function, diminish concentration, and exacerbate symptoms of anxiety and depression. Moreover, sugar-induced inflammation in the brain may disrupt neurotransmitter signaling, further compromising emotional resilience and mental well-being.
Gut Health and Emotional Resilience: Emerging research highlights the pivotal role of the gut microbiome in shaping emotional health and resilience. As we discussed above, high-sugar diets promote dysbiosis, altering the composition of gut bacteria and compromising intestinal barrier function. This disruption in gut homeostasis triggers systemic inflammation and compromises neurotransmitter synthesis, contributing to mood disorders such as depression and anxiety. Additionally, the gut-brain axis facilitates bidirectional communication between the gut and the brain, implicating gut health in emotional regulation and cognitive function.
The Solution
Rather than sugar & alternative sweeteners, I now only use whole fruits as sweeteners. My desserts are usually sweetened by blending whole dates.
Using whole fruits with the fiber intact offers several advantages over consuming refined sugars and alternative sweeteners:
Fiber Content: Whole fruits contain dietary fiber, which is essential for digestive health, regulating blood sugar levels, and promoting satiety. The fiber in fruits slows down the absorption of sugars into the bloodstream, preventing rapid spikes and crashes in blood sugar levels commonly associated with refined sugars and sweeteners.
Nutrient Density: Fruits are rich in vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and phytonutrients that are beneficial for overall health and well-being. Consuming whole fruits provides a wide array of nutrients that support various bodily functions, including immune function, cardiovascular health, and cognitive function, which are lacking in refined sugars and artificial sweeteners.
Natural Sweetness: Whole fruits contain natural sugars, primarily fructose, which provide sweetness without the need for added sugars or sweeteners. While fruits do contribute to total sugar intake, their natural sugars are accompanied by other beneficial compounds, such as fiber, vitamins, and antioxidants, which mitigate the adverse effects associated with consuming isolated sugars.
Gut Health: The fiber in whole fruits serves as a prebiotic, nourishing beneficial gut bacteria and supporting a healthy gut microbiome. A diverse and balanced gut microbiota is crucial for digestive health, immune function, and overall well-being. Consuming whole fruits helps promote gut microbial diversity and may reduce the risk of gut-related disorders, such as leaky gut syndrome and inflammatory bowel disease.
This Dish
This Peanut-Butter Cacao & Chia Raspberry jam reminds me so much of that Trader Joe’s candy bar we used to get, only instead of giving me digestive issues & emotional problems, it supports my gut health, my nervous system, and my emotional regulation.
Here’s a breakdown of some of the nutrients:
Protein from Silken Tofu and Peanut Butter:
Protein is essential for neurotransmitter synthesis, including serotonin and dopamine, which play crucial roles in mood regulation and emotional well-being.
Adequate protein intake supports the production of neurotransmitters that promote feelings of calmness, happiness, and mental clarity, contributing to emotional regulation and a balanced nervous system.
Healthy Fats from Peanut Butter and Chia Seeds:
Omega-3 fatty acids found in chia seeds support brain health and neurotransmitter function, which can enhance mood stability and emotional resilience.
Monounsaturated fats in peanut butter provide sustained energy and promote satiety, helping to stabilize blood sugar levels and prevent mood swings.
Healthy fats support the absorption of fat-soluble vitamins and contribute to the production of hormones involved in stress response and emotional well-being.
Antioxidants from Raw Cacao and Raspberries:
Raw cacao is rich in flavonoids and polyphenols, potent antioxidants that combat oxidative stress and inflammation in the body and brain.
Raspberries contain anthocyanins and vitamin C, which support immune function, reduce inflammation, and protect against oxidative damage to nerve cells, promoting nervous system health and emotional resilience.
Fiber from Silken Tofu, Medjool Dates, Raspberries, and Chia Seeds:
Soluble and insoluble fiber promote gut health by supporting the growth of beneficial gut bacteria and regulating bowel movements.
Fiber adds bulk to stools, preventing constipation and promoting regularity, which can alleviate bloating and discomfort and improve overall digestive function.
A healthy gut microbiome is linked to improved mood, reduced anxiety, and enhanced cognitive function, contributing to emotional well-being and confidence.
Micronutrients from Medjool Dates and Raspberries:
Medjool dates are a good source of magnesium, potassium, and vitamin B6, which are involved in neurotransmitter synthesis and nerve function, supporting emotional stability and stress resilience.
Raspberries provide vitamin C, manganese, and dietary antioxidants, which protect against oxidative stress, support immune function, and promote overall well-being.
The Recipe
This dish is actually super easy to make.
You just blend the raspberries & stir that puree with chia seeds, and let that sit to gel.
Meanwhile, blend all the pudding ingredients together until smooth.
To serve, layer the pudding & the jam, top with some fresh raspberries & cacao nibs and a drizzle of peanut butter, and then enjoy!
And you will enjoy! My bf is very against peanut butter in desserts, and he literally ate 2 of these in one sitting. It tastes like a decadent dessert, you would never think it’s healthy.
Jam Ingredients:
2 cups fresh organic raspberries
2 tbsp chia seeds
Pudding Ingredients:
1 box extra firm silken tofu
3/4 cup pitted medjool dates (packed tightly)
2 tbsp water
4 tbsp organic peanut butter (read label to make sure it's just dry roasted peanuts-- no sugar, salt, or palm oil etc)
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp raw cacao powder
a tiny pinch of Celtic sea salt
Instructions:
Blend the raspberries until super smooth
Pour the raspberry puree into a jar and stir with chia seeds and let it sit to gel
Blend all of the PB & Cacao pudding ingredients together until super super smooth. Note: if your dates are dry, you may need to soak them in some hot water
To assemble: grab 3 small jars or cups, fill halfway with pudding, put a layer of chia raspberry jam, and finish with more of the pudding
Optional: I garnished with some peanut butter, raspberry puree, fresh raspberries, and cacao nibs
side note: remember that insanely annoying peanut butter jelly time YouTube video? I feel like that was the early days of YouTube, no?
