Feeling “Other”

“Geh Nachhause Ausländer.”

In English, “Go Home Foreigner.”

Those were the first German words I learned on my first day of kindergarten in Hamburg, Germany.

My parents emigrated from Iran to Germany shortly before I was born in 1988. Even though I had been in Germany for 5 years at that point, I did not speak any German because my parents spoke to me only in Farsi in an effort to keep our culture and traditions alive while living abroad. On this first day of kindergarten, I learned just how different— and not in a good way— I was from everyone else.

Although the vast majority of my experience living in the United States has not included the same type of overt racism and xenophobia that I faced that day, the feeling of “otherness” carried with me my entire life. I have always felt too different, too weird, too hairy, and so on.

Nevertheless, in many ways, I have learned to embrace my culture and “otherness.” I now take pride in my Persian heritage. In particular, the two major Persian holidays— Norooz, the Spring Equinox; and Yalda, the Winter Equinox— are times where I truly get to connect with my culture.

Whether you are now, or ever have been, a racial or ethnic minority where you live; or if something else about you has made you feel different from others; I see you. I feel you. I can’t say it ever magically goes away. But I do believe that these wounds can become superpowers. How can you transform this feeling of otherness into beauty and magic in your life?

As for me, I find that sharing about this openly helps others see that they are not alone. For more details on my story, or to learn more about Persian culture, or perhaps just for some giggles, listen to Episode 57 on iTunes here, or on Spotify here.