Eat Your Feelings Brownies
I went to college in a small town. My campus was right next to the historic part of town, which was a idyllic looking area filled with cute cafes, little boutiques, and restaurants. There was a shop in this area called “The Cheese Shop.”
The Cheese Shop was known for its sandwiches, made on delicious housemade bread & their “house dressing,” which was a blend of mayo, mustard, and some other common condiments.
We loved the Cheese Shop.
We used to go and get sandwiches— I was partial to the veggie sandwich (even though I wasn’t vegan or vegetarian at the time), which came with a yummy lentil salad and house-roasted tomatoes that were so delectable you could die— get some beverages, maybe a few snacks, and sit on their stunning outdoor patio and marinate in the sun.
One thing I forgot to mention: the desserts.
In particular, there was a coconut brownie that I was obsessed with. It was a gooey, fudgy, super-rich brownie, topped with a creamy coconut layer. Man oh man did I love those brownies. I used to swing by the Cheese Shop a couple of times a week to get those brownies.
Also in college…I was super insecure.
I entered into college determined to have a different experience from my high school experience. In high school, I really didn’t have very many friends, I felt really alone and ostracized, and at times I was really bullied. It was far from the high school experience that TV and movies had convinced me that I needed, and even farther from the high school experiences I expected to have, as the main character in my own story.
The summer in between high school and college, I made a vow to myself to do college differently. I was determined to go in, be part of the “cool” crowd, have lots of friends, go to all the parties, and finally get to live my best main-character-of-a-teenage-romcom type of life.
And it worked…kinda. I got to college, joined a “cool” sorority, and was invited to all the parties.
But it didn’t feel like my vision. I always felt like the loser in my sorority that no one wanted in and was embarrassed of. I never felt wanted at the parties, more like the odd kid that people invited because they felt bad, and I didn’t really have a lot of close friendships or bonds.
I felt really isolated and lonely, and this really showed itself at mealtimes.
While everyone else would eat in groups on campus, I often felt like I had no one to eat meals with. I had enough friendships to be invited to parties and bars, but those friendships were not close enough for me to text them to grab meals together.
So during college, I developed this intense patterning of eating alone. I would get takeout, go back to my room, and eat in front of the TV.
I didn’t realize at the time, but I really started to use food as a numbing tactic, a way to comfort myself and soothe my nervous system. I poured all my insecurities, intrusive thoughts, and worst fears into food. I used to go buy decadent treats, like those brownies, on the regular and devour them as a means of drowning out my feelings.
Relatedly, my first semester of college I gained 30 lbs. As you can imagine, this weight gain only made things worse. For one, I am 5’0, so that much weight gain not only really showed, but it was also quite heavy on my short frame and caused a lot of physical discomfort. But on top of that, I already felt like a big fat loser, now my outside reflected what I felt internally.
It wasn’t until the end of my college experience that I started to understand food better and really lost the weight.
I took a nutrition class in school, and figured out that my constant efforts to lose weight were backfiring. I used to try to cut carbs & prioritize protein, which actually caused me to over-consume fat & under-consume fiber. This left me constantly bloated & sluggish, constipated, and with excess body weight.
When I really learned the science of nutrition, I started to lose weight & improve my digestion.
15 years later, a lot has changed.
I’ve done a ton of inner work, I feel far more confident & secure in myself, and I know how to sit with my feelings instead of numbing them.
But some things are still the same…I still love brownies, love food that feels decadent, and if I’m not on top of my fiber intake, I will get constipated.
This Dish
These brownies are really cool because they’re kind of like a corrective experience of my college years.
They taste just as decadent as the coconut-brownies from the Cheese Shop that I used to stuff in my face to stifle the cries.
But nutritionally…vast difference.
First off, they are made with all whole food ingredients, and zero sugar. Next, they are packed with fiber, making them closer to a laxative than a dessert. They are also filled with plant-based fiber, which is lighter & leaner. Anddddd they have ingredients that literally improve your mood. So even if you did use them to numb your feelings, they would actually have such a profound mental health benefit that you would be doing yourself a service.
Plus, they’re really easy to make. You just combine all the brownie ingredients in a food processor, and bake.
The topping is optional, but encouraged. For the coconut topping, I started by toasting fresh coconut. I haven’t tried it, but I would imagine you can easily substitute dried coconut (just make sure there’s no sugar added). You them pulse the rest of the topping ingredients together in a food processor. That easy.
Now, a couple of notes on the topping: 1. you only need about 1/3-1/2 of the topping for each batch of brownies. I wrote the recipe like this because I like to use an entire can in one sitting. I recommend leaving the extra topping in the fridge for when you inevitably want to make another batch of these brownies after devouring the first batch (trust me, they are THAT GOOD). You can also make little balls with the coconut topping, dip them in cacao, and have a cute little chocolate truffle. 2. if you decide to omit the topping, I would recommend topping the brownies with some nut butter, like coconut butter, almond butter, or cashew butter, because the actual brownie recipe has zero fat, and adding a bit of fat will make the nutrients more absorbable, and will also lubricate the bowels to help push out all that fiber.
The only other thing I want to add: these brownies are VERY GOOEY. You have to let them sit for a bit before slicing in, otherwise they will fall apart.
The Benefits
These brownies are filled with ingredients that support your gut health & your mood. Specifically:
Flavonoids and Theobromine: Raw cacao is rich in flavonoids, particularly flavonols, which have been linked to improved mood and cognitive function. Flavonoids may increase blood flow to the brain, enhance synaptic function, and reduce inflammation, all of which can positively impact mood. Additionally, theobromine, another compound found in cacao, has mild stimulant effects that can promote alertness and feelings of well-being.
Fiber: Medjool dates, black beans, oats, and chickpeas are excellent sources of dietary fiber. Fiber plays a crucial role in gut health, which is increasingly recognized as influential in mood regulation. The gut microbiota interacts with the brain through the gut-brain axis, influencing neurotransmitter production and mood. By promoting a healthy gut environment, fiber helps support optimal mood balance.
Protein: Black beans and chickpeas are both rich sources of plant-based protein. Protein is essential for the synthesis of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which are involved in mood regulation. Adequate protein intake supports the production and release of these "feel-good" neurotransmitters, contributing to improved mood and emotional well-being.
Vitamins and Minerals: Medjool dates contain potassium and magnesium, which play key roles in mood regulation. Potassium helps regulate nerve signals and muscle contractions, while magnesium is involved in hundreds of biochemical reactions, including those related to mood and relaxation. Oats provide additional magnesium, along with zinc, which supports neurotransmitter function and helps maintain a balanced mood.
Tryptophan: Cashews are a good source of tryptophan, an essential amino acid that serves as a precursor for serotonin synthesis. Serotonin, often referred to as the "happiness hormone," plays a central role in mood regulation, promoting feelings of well-being, relaxation, and happiness. By providing tryptophan, cashews support the body's natural production of serotonin, potentially enhancing mood.
Medium-Chain Triglycerides (MCTs): Coconut contains medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs), a type of fatty acid that is rapidly absorbed and utilized by the body for energy. MCTs have been associated with improved cognitive function and mood due to their quick energy release and potential to support brain health. By providing a readily available source of fuel, coconut may help support mood stability and mental clarity.
Combining these nutrient-rich ingredients in brownies creates a delicious and satisfying treat that not only tantalizes the taste buds but also nourishes the body and supports mood and emotional well-being.
The Recipe
Brownie Ingredients:
1 can black beans
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 cups pitted medjool dates
7 tbsp oat flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp Celtic sea salt
6 tbsp raw cacao powder
3/4 cup water
Topping Ingredients:
0.4 lbs raw coconut (1-2 cups-ish. you can sub with dried coconut flakes/shreds)
1/2 cup raw cashews
1.5 cups dates
1 can chickpeas
1/2 cup water
optional: 1 tsp coconut extract
Instructions:
preheat oven to 450 and toast the coconut until it’s golden (roughly 10 minutes)
lower the oven temperature to 350, and allow the temps to drop
strain & rinse the black beans
in a food processor, combine all of the brownie ingredients EXCEPT baking powder, and pulse until pretty smooth
add in the baking powder and pulse to combine
pour the brownie mixture into a lined or greased baking pan. I find using parchment paper is really helpful for later removing the brownies
bake for 22 minutes
remove brownies from the oven and let them stand for at least 20 minutes
meanwhile, drain & rinse your chickpeas, and combine all of the topping ingredients in a food processor
after letting the brownies cool & set, spread the topping on the brownies, and slice them up
I decorated them with some dried rose petals, but that’s completely optional
ENJOY! Be aware that these brownies have A LOT!!! of fiber, and depending on where you are in your gut health journey, could be too much fiber depending on how much you eat. start with one piece, and work your way up, and DRINK LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER with them to keep things moving.
