Bella Swan is Anxiously Attached
I’m currently reading the first Twilight book. You know, the series that was written for children and came out 657 years ago?
Yeah, I’m reading it right now. For the first time. And it’s really quite captivating, EXCEPT…the anxious attachment in the book is rampant.
From the moment Bella sets eyes on Edward Cullen, her thoughts and actions become consumed by her desire to be close to him. This intense focus is a common trait of anxiously attached individuals who may fear losing the object of their affection.
Bella consistently prioritizes Edward's needs and desires above her own, showcasing a tendency often seen in anxiously attached individuals. Whether it's compromising her own safety or making sacrifices to accommodate him, Bella's actions highlight her deep-seated need to maintain the closeness and approval of her partner.
Throughout the Twilight series, Bella exhibits a profound fear of being separated from Edward. The mere thought of being away from him induces anxiety and distress, a classic sign of anxious attachment. In fact, she’s so fearful of being separated from him that she quite literally risks her life to be around him! The fear of abandonment and the desperate need for constant reassurance are prominent themes in Bella's emotional journey.
Anxiously attached individuals often seek reassurance and validation to alleviate their fears of abandonment. Bella constantly seeks verbal and physical reassurance from Edward, needing him to affirm his love and commitment repeatedly. This behavior is a manifestation of her underlying anxiety about the stability of their relationship.
Anxious attachment is often characterized by emotional highs and lows. Bella experiences extreme emotions, from intense joy and passion to deep despair and fear. This emotional rollercoaster is reflective of the constant uncertainty and insecurity that characterize anxiously attached individuals' relationships.
To hear more about attachment theory & my thoughts on Twilight, listen to episode 166, “This is Why You go Crazy in Dating.” Available everywhere you listen to podcasts (including on Apple Podcasts/iTunes here) and you can WATCH the whole episode on Spotify (available here)
