Food x Relationships: the Bi-Directional Effect
When I was 22, I had just graduated college and I moved to DC, working in policy. My best friend moved to DC a few months after me. I was so excited.
I promptly introduced her to my newly-single coworker whose roommate I was seeing at the time, and the 4 of us formed a fun little clique. We went to happy hours together, out to dinner together, and on the weekends, we would party together.
When we were in the early stages of dating, I remember having a conversation with my best friend about eating and dating. She felt like whenever she starts dating someone, she would gain weight. She felt like she would go out to eat more, would eat less healthy things, and there would just be more junk around.
On the other hand, I felt like I would always lose weight in the early stages of dating. I would be out of the house more, I would be more happy and excited, and didn’t feel the need to eat my feelings anymore.
Even though our stances were the exact opposite, we were touching on a very real phenomenon: our relationships affect our food choices, and vice versa.
Dietary Restrictions & Relationships
Dietary restrictions, whether stemming from medical conditions such as celiac disease, food allergies, or lifestyle choices like vegetarianism and veganism, can profoundly influence interpersonal dynamics within relationships.
Communication Challenges: Negotiating dietary preferences and restrictions within a relationship requires open and effective communication. However, studies show that couples with differing dietary habits often encounter communication barriers, leading to misunderstandings, conflicts, and feelings of isolation. Research by Herbenick et al. (2019) found that 21% of individuals in relationships reported conflicts related to food preferences, with 27% indicating difficulty in finding meals suitable for both partners.
Social Isolation: Dietary restrictions can also lead to social isolation within relationships, as individuals may feel excluded from shared meals or social gatherings centered around food. This can strain relationships and diminish the sense of togetherness and belonging. A survey conducted by Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE) revealed that 79% of individuals with food allergies reported feeling socially isolated due to their dietary restrictions, impacting their relationships with family and friends.
Lifestyle Adaptation: Successfully navigating dietary restrictions within a relationship often requires significant lifestyle adaptations and compromises. Partners may need to adjust meal planning, dining habits, and even social activities to accommodate each other's dietary needs. A study by the University of Canterbury (2018) highlighted the importance of mutual support and cooperation in managing dietary restrictions within romantic relationships, emphasizing the role of empathy and flexibility.
Relationships & Food Choices
Conversely, relationships exert a profound influence on individuals' food choices, shaping dietary behaviors and consumption patterns in profound ways.
Social Norms and Peer Influence: Humans are inherently social beings, and our food choices are often influenced by social norms and peer behavior within our immediate social circles, including family, friends, and romantic partners. Research by Christakis and Fowler (2007) demonstrated the significant impact of social networks on dietary habits, suggesting that individuals tend to adopt the eating behaviors of those around them, including their romantic partners.
Emotional Eating and Comfort Food: Relationships also influence food choices through emotional eating patterns and the consumption of comfort foods. Studies have shown that individuals often seek solace in food during times of stress, relationship conflicts, or emotional distress, leading to the consumption of high-calorie, palatable foods as a form of self-soothing. This phenomenon, known as "comfort eating," can be particularly pronounced within intimate relationships, where food becomes intertwined with emotional intimacy and support.
Shared Experiences and Rituals: Shared experiences, rituals, and traditions within relationships play a crucial role in shaping food preferences and consumption habits. Couples often develop shared rituals around food, such as cooking together, sharing meals, or dining at favorite restaurants, which reinforce their bond and create lasting memories. These shared experiences not only influence food choices but also contribute to the sense of relational satisfaction and intimacy within the partnership.
The interplay between dietary restrictions and relationship dynamics is a complex phenomenon influenced by a myriad of factors, including communication, social norms, emotional intimacy, and shared experiences. Recognizing the profound impact of dietary restrictions on relationships, as well as the reciprocal influence of relationships on food choices, is essential for fostering understanding, empathy, and mutual support within interpersonal connections. By navigating these dynamics with sensitivity and compassion, individuals can cultivate healthier, more harmonious relationships that honor both partners' dietary needs and preferences.
In this week’s Blush episode, I discuss several situations where people’s dietary choices affect their relationships. A few where people embark on new wellness journeys and the other partner is affected, some where people feel pressured into eating things they don’t want to eat.
To hear more, listen to episode 176, “Am I the A**hole: Dietary Restrictions & Bad Communication,” available everywhere you listen to podcasts (including on Apple Podcasts here), and you can WATCH the whole video on Spotify (available here).
